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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

017 199 372 6 •* 



HoUinger 



WANTED-A PARTNER 

a DauOevUlc SFictcb In Owe Bet 

BY 

FLOE BAKER 



Copyright 1912, by Samuel French 



NOTICE — The Professional acting rights of this play are reserved by 
the publisher, and permission for such performances must be ob- 
tained before performances are given. This notice does not apply 
to amateurs, who may perform the play without permission. AH 
professional unauthorised productions will bo prosecuted to the 
full extent of the law. 



PRICE 2 5 CENTS 



New York 
SAMUEL FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 

28-30 WEST 38th STREET 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street, 

STRAND 






t'^y 



WANTED A PARTNER 



Scene. — Hotel Parlor. 

Characters: 2 males, 1 female. 

EvKLYN LaPoint Actrcf^s, irlio lias advertised for 

partner for Vaudeville Act 

Fritz Meyers A German Musician and applicant 

for the partnership iritli Evelyn 

Heine IIoffendixger A German singer and 

dancer. Also applicant 
for partnership. Made 
up identical. 



©CI.D ^14ai 



WANTED A PARTNER 



(At opniiiKj of Act KvKLYN' is diffcovprpd seated at 
piano.) 

E. (after finish of son(j) (Jcol but this is a 

sleepy town, T liave liad an ad in the paper for a 
Vaudeville partner for two days and haven't re- 
reived a sin«rle application, (picks up paper and 
reads) Wanted — A CJerman Comedian to take part 
in Vaudeville Act. Must be able to do specialties, 
a])p]y in porson to Miss Evelyn LaPoint, (local 
hotel). If I don't have an ajiplicant to-day, I shall 
begin to think they don't know what a Oernian Come- 
dian is around here, (crosses from piano to table as 
she (/ires last lines and sits with head on hands in a 
vert/ thoughtfid mood) Poor Old Jack, if he liad 
only lived. For nearly two years we were together, 
and in those two years we had some mi;;hty hard 
times, I'll tell you. Put Jack always stuck to me all 
throuirh our hard luck, like the ;rood old pal that he 
was, and just when thinfrs were be;,nnnin<j to look 
hriirhter — just when we were makinjx ?ood, the final 
curtain was runij down on poor Jack, for one evenin<j 
just before the performance, he was hroui^ht to my 
dressincr room dead. TTad been struck by an auto- 
mobile. Tf he had onlv lived evervthinir would have 
been different. But Oh! Pshaw! what is the use 
thinking of how tilings might have been, (crosses to 

3 



4 WANTED-A PARTNER 

piano, begins to hum some tune and accompaniment, 
thoughtfully) 

(Noise heard outside as of someone in argument.) 

I wonder what all this noise is about, {rises and 
starts toward center door) 

{Enter Hoffkxdixgeh hacl-irards, still in argument 
irith someone on the outside.) 

IT. Go on, there, you great big — vot you t'ink I 

am? Try to tell me I don't know — etc. {I urns and 
sees EvELYx) Say, vot you t'ink of that feller try'n' 
to tell me I look like (some notable local character). 

E. {laughs) Well, you do resemble him some, 

but say, who are you and what are you doing here? 

H. Xy I'm Heine Hoffendinger, der great 

German impersonater. {pulU paper from his pocl-et) 
Say, are you der lady vot wants a German Comedians 
vor a partner? 

E. T am Miss Evelyn LaPoiiit, the lady who in- 
serted that advertisement in the paper for a German 
Comedian to do specialties in mv Vaudeville Act. 

H. Veil, I'm it. 

E. Your what? 

H. Vot 3^ou said. 

E. Oh! you are a German Comedian, are you? 

IT. Dot's vot I am. 

E. Well, what can you do, Dutchy? 

IT. Veil, I can drink beer, unt eat sauerkraut, 

unt limberger cheese, unt 

E. {interrupting him) Xo ! No! I mean 

what can you do on the stage. Can you sing? 

H. Yah ! I can sing unt tance, unt spooch 

poultry. 

E. You mean speak poetry. 

H. Yah ! dot's it. 

E. Well, let's hear you sing, Dutchy. 

H. {facing audience down in one) Ladies 



WANTED A IWRTXKIl 5 

unt what canu' init yon. I \ill siiiL^ t>> yuii a very 
peautiful liddlo ballad, woid hy (hxnl tjrod'nj firm) 
unt nioosir by (JomJ liardirnrr) entitled — Ven your 
money is ijone I'll still lo\e you, but I can't be niit 
you. (parodf/ accompanied hy K. SJiorf dnnrr fol- 
lowing paroclj/) 

E. ( after (Inner runs in wltrrr 11. i".s- a ml .shnk-C'i 

him hi/ the hand) Say, Dutcby, you are all right. I 
tliink you will do very well for the Act. Xow listen ! 
You fi^o in that room and get those clothes ofT. You 
will find a eostume in there, put it on and come back, 
then we will reh.earso our Act. ITurry now. (r.rif IT. 
L. 2 E.) At last I have another partner. While he is 
changing T will run over that new son?: T received 
to-day. (.9f7.<? at piano and hcgins to sinn. Ilinq at 
door hrlJ) Xow, T wonder who that can be? (rros.scs 
io door) 

(Enter Meyers.) 

E. (tools- from him (o I., 'i v..) Where did you 

come from, ar.d how did you /ret in here? 

^r. Troo der door. TTow did you expect T come 

in here, down der chimney? 

E. Didn't T tell vou to go in the other room 

and get those clothes ofT? 

^\- (friqhtenrd) A^.t ? Cet my clothes ofT? 

(aMde fo audience) Say, dot vomans is crazy. 

E. TTurry up n(»w. and do a< 1 tell you or we 

won't have time for rehearsal, (starts fo push him 
towards L. 2 e.) 

M. (tryinq to stop her) A'ait a minute (nulls 

paper from pocket) Are you der vomans \<>t adver- 
tised vor a rierman specialist to do comedian? 

E. T told you once before that T was the lady 

who inserted that ad in the paper. 

'S\. (aside) She told me vonce pefore. Dot 

vomans is getting crazier all the tinu*. (to F*.) Say, 



6 WANTED-A PARTNER 

vomans, der must be some mistake here^ you didn't 
tell me nothin'. 

E, Who are you? Isn't your name Hoffen- 

dinger ? 

M. Vy no, my name is Fritz Meyers, dot great 

Germain Musicianer. I'm a cousin to John Philip 
Susan. 

E. (sits to piano) Oh, a great musician, eh? 

Well, what can you play? 

M. Shoost wait a minute, I vill show you. 

(pulls trombone from trouser poclcets, one piece at a 
time) 

E. Oh ! I see a trombone Soloist. Say, Dutchy, 

where did you get that diamond shirt stud? 

M. Yell, you see mine brudder diet last week. 

E. Your brother died? 

M. Yes, unt shust before he diet he called me 

to his petside und he says: Fritz, I am apout to tie. 
I t'ink I can trust you to see that I am buried all 
right. I only haf fife hundret tollars. Here it is. 
I want 3'OU to take, it unt go py a stone mit it. 

E. Well? 

M. Yell, dot's de stone. 

(Trombone solo accompanied by E. After solo, enter 
IToEFE^^DixGER from L. 2 E., spcalcing as he 
enters.) 

IT. (lias corset in Ids hand) Say, is dis der 

30stum vat you wanted me to put on ? 

(HoFFEN^DiNGER and Meyees see each other at the 
same time. Stare steadily at each other for 
short time, then start towards each other cau- 
tiously, both spealdng at the same time.) 

M. and H. — —Say, am I you or are you me. 
'N'o. Then who the devil are you? I don't know. 
(short pause, each of them pinched himself to see if 
he is dreaming) 



WANTED— A PARTNER 7 

M. (hoastingly) Vy, Meyers is my name, I 

am der great German Mucicianer vot di lady haf en- 
geged for her Act. 

H. (same tone) I peg your pardon, but der 

young lady haf alreaty sphoken to me to take the 
part. 

E. Well, boys, we will easily settle that dispute. 

I have decided to use you both in my Act, Now I 
am going to go in the next room and dress for the 
Act, and then we will have a rehearsal. In the mean- 
time you boys make yourselves right at home, and 
amuse yourselves until T return, (exit l. 2 e. Busi- 
ness of flirting with them as she exits) 

M. and H. Toodle — oo — Oh you kid — etc., etc. 

H. Veil, Meyers, can you tance? 

M. Can T tance? Slioost vatch mo. (rloes 

funny dance across the stage) How vas dot? 

H. Pooty goot. Let's try dis von togcdder. 

TEAM DAXCE. 

(After dance, enter E. l. 2 e., does dance across the 
stage.) 

E. Well, boys, what do you think of me now? 

(funny hiz of looldng at short sl-irts. Both try to 
emhrace her at once) 

E. (stopping them) No! No! Xone of that, 

boys. Come now and help me with this song 

SONG FOLLOWED BY TRIO DAXCE. 

Time, 18 Minutes. 

Bv Floe Baker. 



NOV 21 1912 



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